Theres a very fine line between getting drunk enough to board a plane without any fear and getting so drunk that you cant get out of your seat.
And a Boulder man crossed that line pretty spectacularly after he allegedly had so many double vodka tonics that he became unruly and unable to relieve himself like a proper adult.
The Smoking Gun reports the incident, in part:
Haag, drinking double vodka and tonics aboard Flight F9864, told a woman seated next to him that he was traveling to South Carolina to meet with an old girlfriend and was “physically excited.” The woman said Haag pestered her with personal questions and kept looking at her “chest and legs as she was wearing a tank top and shorts.”
…While in the rear of the aircraft, a third female passenger told the FBI, Haag removed his seatbelt “and started urinating on the seat in front of him.”
A photo was taken of Haag relieving himself while seated, and its now being used as evidence against him.
— The Smoking Gun (@tsgnews) May 21, 2018
They say life comes at you fast. And sometimes, it really does. One minute, youre downing a few stiff drinks because youre a little nervous to board your discount cross country flight. And the next minute, youre so belligerently drunk that youre making passes at the ladies next to you, and you have to pee real bad but the seatbelt sign is on so you make the best of a bad situation and let it fly. You dont know what got into you. Maybe it was bad vodka. Maybe the altitude messed with you. Maybe you just got so anxious to see the woman who “physically excites” you that you let yourself get over-served. Either way, this isnt how you planned it. And you probably totally blew it with this girl you were going to see. And youre $25,000 out after paying your bail. And youre an internet meme. Its not a great look, no matter how you slice it.
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