As temperatures drop and Christmas approaches, we are filled with an undeniable need to buy all kinds of wooly accessories.
Is it really cold enough to necessitate the purchase of six different bobble hats? Probably not, but we’ll buy it anyway.
It can be tricky to find the perfect hat, scarf, and gloves combo with all the options out there. Do you want a classic tartan? A simple grey option that goes with everything? A giant Lenny Kravitz style number?
Allow us to make things a little easier.
This is the scarf you’ve been searching for. We know this, because this particular scarf is designed to look like you’ve got two penises dangling around your neck.
It’s the perfect way to declare your rage against men (what could be a more powerful statement than wearing pretend dismembered dicks around your neck like a trophy) or celebrate your love for genitals.
The scarf comes from HappyUnderwearGifts, who is, of course, the same person behind the vagina slippers, and costs £13.64.
Don’t panic if you have specific style requirements for your penis scarf – it’s available in pink, grey, red, or blue.
And there’s a matching hat, so you can be a dickhead in style.
We can’t wait for it to get colder. Just be careful of shrinkage.